April 17th
Thank you
for reminding
me
who I am
and
what
I stand
for...
Your letter
was the
opening
to my
journey...
The timing
was
more
than
perfect.
Thank you.
________________________________________________
I was asked by my dear roommate last night,
what I hoped to leave with the children and the
people of Africa...
It took me a while to formulate an answer to
that question. First of all, at the present, I do not
feel like I have anything to offer them, other than
my love and attention. They have far more to
teach me than I will ever be able to offer them.
My hope for this trip, my goal if you will, is
to listen... and to learn... and to absorb
everything. I need to learn about what their
current situation is.. about the issues in all their
complexity... I need to know what peace would
look like in THEIR context, not ours. I need to
learn more about what is already being done,
what isn't being done, what kind of change needs
to take place, and how that kind of change and
peace can happen.
I am curious to see how the people view
foreigners coming into their country wanting
to help. What are they doing that is affective,
and what just doesn't work. I am curious...
about everything - the way they interact with
each other, what an ordinary day looks like for
them, their hopes and their dreams for the
future... everything.
I need to know these things in order to know
how I can help them, if I can help them.
I need to know. Maybe I will finally understand
why God put this place in my heart with such
great intensity. Maybe I will be given
direction. Whatever the reason that I am on my
way to Africa at this time, in these places, with
these people... one thing is certain... I will not
come back the same. It is not an option... I
highly doubt that it is even possible.
So, here's to the journey... wherever it may
lead. May I keep my heart, eyes, and ears open,
and soak everything in and keep it with me
always.
_______________________________________________________________
Above the clouds
once again,
I am in awe
of the beauty.
It never gets
old,
soaring
through
the air
like eagles...
The world
is becoming
a smaller
& smaller
place to me.
God has
shown
me
many things
in my
life-
my eyes
have seen
glorious landscapes,
mighty waterfalls,
rolling hills,
deep valleys,
bright blue waters,
jagged cliffs,
magnificent oaks...
they have
seen
exotic
creatures,
such a
wide diversity
of people
groups
&
cultures
&
religions...
I wonder
why it is
that He
has
shown me
such
things...
what purpose
of mine
that requires
such a
unique,
broadened
perspective?
I hope
I catch
a glimpse
soon
of this
purpose...
I believe
it is
coming
soon...
Lord give
me patience
& an open
heart.
________________________________________________________
For so long, I've wanted to bring these children's
stories to the rest of the world through my art...
While I still hope to do so, I wonder if that might
look much different that I expected...
What if I could enable & empower them to do
that themselves? What could that look like? I could
teach them of the things I've learned on my journey
as an artist... the shift of perspective, the
multi-faceted purposes and opportunities of art and
creativity and its many different forms, provide them
with the supplies and tools they need, display it for
all to see, create programs for sustainability, using
their art forms, etc. By doing so, they would be
able to tell their stories and heartaches, portray the
beauty of their culture, and show the world their
hopes and dreams for the future. Ideas of putting
advocacy, rehabilitation, reconciliation, and
sustainability into their own hands fill my mind.
Art is such a powerful form of therapy. These
children have experienced such deep emotional
traumas. Through expressing themselves through
the various forms of art (visual art, poetry/writing, drama,
music, storytelling, etc.) they are able to communicate
and therefore process their trauma, understand, and
overcome it. My ideas do not stop at rehabilitation,
though. Incorporating collaborative pieces into
reconciliation efforts, using their pieces as
advocacy tools to bring about big change in the
root of the issues, showing the world the beauty
of their culture through their own perspective,
giving them the skills, confidence, leadership skills,
education and empowerment to make big change
happen themselves, in the present and as future
leaders in their villages, communities, and
countries. I want to help them find their unique
passions/talents and help them harness it, embrace it,
refine it, and utilize it.
___________________________________________________________
April 18th
"For Jade..."
We arrived in Doha, Qatar
maybe an hour before sunset...
I stepped off the plane
into the warm evening
breeze
and then
I looked up.
There, hanging
in the center
of the sky,
was the most
brilliant,
intense,
round ball
of fire,
that is the
sun,
that I have
ever seen...
There were no
clouds
in sight...
the sky was
a faded burnt
orange
color...
a canvas
to display
the brilliance
of the
Middle Eastern
sun.
There is such
a beauty in
these people...
a quiet strength.
I can see
warmth in them,
but interacting
is intimidating
from both
perspectives,
because of
the cultural
differences
& stereotypes
placed on
both
by our own
cultures.
Given the
time
and opportunity
to speak at
length,
the intimidation
would easily
dissolve,
and friendships
could be
formed.
The key
is having
an open
mind
and an
open heart
to take the
time
to listen
and learn
and understand
each other.
It only
takes
being willing
to
step out
into the
unknown
and face that
discomfort
that comes
from
unfamiliarity
in order to
overcome
the intimidation
and fear.
Given the right
connections
and provisions,
I could
see you
thriving here...
[Though I know
you could
thrive anywhere]
Writing
&
painting;
learning
& growing;
forming
relationships,
displaying
light
&
conveying
hope.
__________________________________________
April 19th
5:50am
We landed in
Entebbe
for a brief
layover...
our last stop
before
landing
in Rwanda,
but my first
glimpse
of Africa...
As we were
landing,
I could
make out
shadows
of a wide
river below,
reflecting
the
dim, hazy
sliver
of the
African moon...
the flashing
lights
from the
airplane
illuminated
the
African soil
as we
taxied
around the
runway...
I could
scream
with thrill
&
excitement
if not
for
my
beyond
exhausted
state...
time
has become
meaningless
in the past
30 something
hours
that we have
been
traveling
through
time zone
after
time zone...
I can't even
be positive
that I know
what day
it might be...
I am so
eager
to see
everything,
yet
an barely
keep
my eyes
open...
the sky is
beginning
to lighten
as the
sun
steadily
makes
its way
over the
horizon...
Oh,
African sun,
how thyself!
How I
have longed
for this
moment
for years!
Hello, Africa,
land that
has stolen
my heart,
initially
without my
consent,
but I
have come
to love
you so...
teach me
those lessons
you
have for
me...
promise
not to
leave me
unchanged,
rather
give me
renewal
&
rebirth...
__________________________________________________________
After touching down in Rwanda, Jessie and I took a cab from the airport to our hotel
in Kigali. As soon as I stepped outside, the smells of this African city filled my
senses. Cars and motorbikes weaved in and out of each other down street after street,
passing crowds of people walking down the streets of Rwanda. With each person I saw,
I wondered to myself, "How have you personally been affected by the genocide that
occurred here 18 years ago this month?"
We arrived at the hotel around 8am, checked in, and were taken up to our room. It is
a small room with old wooden furniture, two little beds, and a bathroom with a tub.
It is such a lovely, perfect room. Bethany and Matthew had already left for meetings by the
time we arrived, so we decided to take the opportunity to catch up on sleep. With the
African sun filtering in through the gold curtains, and the sounds of the city below, I drifted
off to sleep...
We slept through most of the afternoon, and awoke to the beating of rain on tin roofs all
around us. I looked over the balcony and could barely see the mountains in the distance
through the sheets of rain. We took turns bathing, then went back out to the balcony to enjoy
the calmness after the rain had ceased for the moment... It is the rainy season here - windy
and chilly when the rains come. It is absolutely gorgeous and the land is so rich and so green.
Birds that look like small eagles soar over us. Oh, to be a bird in Africa! The sky is filled with
shades of grey and blue, threatening to open up at any moment.
_____________________________________________________________
We finally met up with Bethany and Matthew shortly after this in Bethany's room. This is the
first time that the four of us have ever been together in the same place. We spent time
catching up on Bethany and Matthew's time in Rwanda thus far, and our stories of our
adventures in the Qatar airport. We spoke briefly about the game plan for the next few days
before we leave for the training, then went downstairs for dinner and coffee while we waited
for Didi to arrive from Goma. I have been waiting in great anticipation for the day I would
meet this man. Didi works with the boys at the Peace Lives Center, a rehabilitation center
for former child soldiers in Congo. When Didi arrived, it was such a sweet time of
introduction and greeting. We pulled up a chair to our tiny table in the hotel restaurant to talk
about the upcoming training that Didi has been primarily coordinating, plans to cross into
Congo afterwards, logistics of the trip, etc. I cannot express with words the overwhelming
joy that filled my heart hearing Didi talk about the boys, his family, etc. His passion, pure
heart, and work ethic inspire me so! He has such a beautiful spirit.
"We must be busy. It is good to work."
As we all held hands under the table, and Didi began to pray in Swahili, I was no longer able
to contain all my heart's emotion, and tears began to flow... tears of joy, hope, and
anticipation...
There were many hugs and "lala salama's" (sweet dreams in Swahili) as we told Didi goodbye
till Sunday. I am so excited to meet the other 20ish leaders that we will be trained in the
Empower program with! As Didi says, "It is going to be [fine]." After the training concludes on
Friday, Lord willing, we will cross over into Congo, where we will work with the girls at the
Dina Center, as well as the boys at the Peace Lives Center.
I cannot express how thankful I am to have this opportunity to meet these incredible people,
and to just be able to sit and soak in everything and learn... for this opportunity to see with my
own eyes what I've been a part of for the past year of my life.
My heart is overwhelmed with joy, peace, & contentment, now that I finally caught up with it
after it took off to Africa years ago. If I am honest with myself, my greatest desire... if I had one
wish... it would be to live in Africa, paint, build strong relationships with the people, help
anywhere and everywhere help is needed, work with my hands, play with kids, paint with them
and work with them & those that care for them...
God,
Lead me, guide me,
move me, carry me, push me,
mold me...
Your will for your glory, God.
I am here, heart wide open.
You know I would leave
everything,
and go anywhere in a heartbeat...
Show me the plans
you have for me....
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