Wednesday, April 11, 2012

the pain pride brings...



I miss you... 

     our talks,

the comfort
       of just
being 
    in the same
building
     as you, 

 even as 
    we did
our own
        things.  

It physically 
      pains me
that 
   we are not
speaking... 

  just days 
before 
     I leave
to face 
   dangers, 
the magnitude 
     of which 
not even 
       you 
realize... 

   all because
of your silly
     pride. 

   It takes
       every ounce
of energy
         I possess

to keep from 
    calling you, 
texting you, 
   or 
    walking to
             you...


What good 
     would it 
do 
  anyway?


Harsh words
      spoken,

tantrums 
     thrown, 


    silence... 


all from 
    a casual
observation, 

   intended
partly in 
       jest
&
     partly
to really 
    open up
to you... 

         I thought
we had 
    become
close enough
             friends
      to open 
        up
 to each 
     other, 

to be 
    honest
& expect
    to be 
 heard, 

     rather
than 
    having 
 it thrown
    back in 
one's face
   and 
      being
ignored... 

   and for 
what? 

Yes, 
   I still 
love you

  & 

yes, I 
    still want
to stay 
   up all 
night
   
 talking 
         about
everything
      &
        nothing... 

but

   I refuse
to give in
 to
such 
   childish 
 antics
     &
    apologize

when 
      I 
     have 
done 
     nothing 
wrong... 

unless
  
  you 
     consider
unconditional 
         love

a vice... 

          or

 honesty
    & 
openness 

  a 
     fault.
 


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