Sunday, May 13, 2012

a prayer...



God, 

   I'm writing you 
this prayer,
     because I 
cannot seem to 
   slow my mind
long enough 
    to focus on 
one thing
       right now... 

I have a 
    million 
thoughts, ideas,
     & questions
swirling around 
    in my head... 

I've spent 
    all afternoon 
trying to do 
      ten different 
things at once, 
   & I haven't 
gotten very far
on  any
    of them... 

Someone asked
    me today
how the 
      readjustment 
was going... 

I've either
    been jetlagged
 out of my mind
   of very sick 
since I've 
   been back, 
and today is 
the first day
   I've felt 
somewhat decent
  and have just 
sat... 
  
 honestly I 
feel almost 
   depressed
being back... 
  though I know 
I shouldn't, 
     and you 
taught me
long ago how 
    to be content
wherever I am... 

but,
    it is hard 
when you feel 
     like your 
heart is on 
  the other side
of the world. 


There are so 
       many things
to decide, 
   and so many 
questions
    in my head...
Where do I 
   even start? 

 Father, 
    tell me what 
my next step 
 is... open the
right door 
   & close all 
the others... 

  give me wisdom
& guidance, 
      patience
           & 
            love... 

Your will, 
   not mine... 

Your timing, 
      Lord...

Guide me
    step by step,
day by day. 

I trust You. 

   Calm my 
heart, Lord... 

   give me
peace
    of mind
and spirit. 

I cannot do 
     anything
without You.

 You have 
a way of
reminding me
      of this
when I start
  to feel 
     self-reliant... 

  At once,
I am strong,
     independent

and yet 

 weak &
     completely 
dependent
      on You... 

Align my 
     will
with Yours, 
   Oh God... 

Surround me 
   with your
presence. 

 Shut out
the million 
   thoughts, 
worries, 
  & distractions
that keep 
   me from 
solely 
   focusing 
on You. 

I love you. 

-M

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