Letters...

Sitting in the middle

           of my 

hardwood floor

 

listening to train

 whistles        

in the distance

 

and Jade's 

typing                

           as she finishes

   her paper...       

I came 

          across

a book         

         full of letters 

from years past... 

 

                   letters of encouragement

and well wishes...

 

letters of gratitude... 

 

letters from children, 

peers,             

family, 

 friends                

               &               

                                   acquaintances...                      

 

letters that                  

make me laugh

               

& others that         

            bring tears

to my eyes...

                     letters that remind

me who I am,

 & letters that                

challenge me to 

     dig deeper,

go further

& 

pursue my passions... 

 

letters that remind            

me of        

what God has 

done in 

my life          

 &

what God can do

             in the future...

letters that          

remind me

that I can                    

make a 

difference in         

      individuals lives,

which really is 

                 my ultimate goal:

to invest myself 

in others 

& 

to make          

an impact on 

         & 

            inspire others

for good.         

My experience 

      tells me 

that there is a God, 

  and that He is 

loving, kind & just... 

   that He is a 

       personal God...

theology & doctrine

    are great...

they come 

   from men's 

journey to understand

    Him better, 

  and are a useful

     learning tool... 

  but ultimately

it is my experience

    that convinces 

me that 

      God is real, 

             & 

      that He is 

               personal, 

 & that Jesus is 

     the Son of God

 and that through 

     Him alone

do I have peace

        & am 

free from

         the slavery

of the world. 

 I firmly believe 

& know

    that there is 

logical, 

     scientific, 

         reasonable 

   proof

       of the things

that I have come 

         to believe, 

studying these 

     have helped

  develop & strengthen 

my understanding

         of God, 

however, 

    all the reasoning

         & proof

in the world 

     will not convince 

one of truth

   

   if they are 

not ready 

           and 

             willing 

to accept it. 

  This is my 

       burden 

          & 

           my heartache;

my quest 

     & 

    my journey... 

to allow 

      Christ

           to love

through me 

      & 

    in me... 

to bring peace, 

    and to shine

         through me... 

God open 

      their eyes...

 

Loving without expectations...

What does it mean

      to fully know

someone? 

      Do you ever 

actually reach 

   that point

 of fully knowing? 

   I think it

       is more an 

unending journey, 

  an adventure...

It is a learning 

    process... 

learning 

   how a person 

        ticks... 

learning how to 

     accept them

for them, 

   not for who they 

pretend 

       to be, 

 

   not only on their 

best days, 

      but also

          their worst... 

learning 

   to accept 

           & 

            love

 them

  despite your differences, 

       no matter 

how drastic

   they might be... 

 learning

    to see past 

        their flaws

             &

         oddities

& committing yourself

     to care 

        about them

regardless, 

    even though 

you know 

      you may 

           be hurt 

in the process... 

  though you 

        may experience 

many sleepless

     nights, 

          energy drained

              &

 a broken heart... 

   It is here 

       that we find

a love

     that goes far

                 deeper

than 

   friendship 

           or 

             romance...

to a 

    completely other

          level... 

 A bond that cannot

            be broken; 

  So complex

        and yet

            so simple... 

   simply loving 

         without

             expectations....

Reflections on Genesis 1-10...

  We chose to know 
evil...


     the one and only 
thing God asked them
not to do
    was to eat of the tree
 of the knowledge 
        of good
            &
             evil... 


  they could not 
      even comprehend
what sin was
          at that point... 


they were 
     blameless... 


  But the serpant
         spoke to 
                  Eve, 

saying, 

     "You will surely not
die from eating the 
         fruit..." 

 There was some truth 
      to what 
he said... 

  No, she would
not immediately 
     physically die... 

[though I'm not
   so sure she 
could even fathom 
 the concept of 
      death
at that time...] 

     However, 

          As soon as 
 she ate of the fruit, 
    a different kind of
death would overtake 
       her...

much worse than
    physical death... 

instead it was 
      a 
spiritual death... 

she would now
         know evil...

no longer would 
      she & Adam 
be blameless
        before God... 

No longer would 
      God, their 
            Father & Maker, 
walk with 
       them
            in 
    the garden of Eden...  


the curse of Sin
   would affect 
       everything... 


nothing would be 
             left 
               untouched... 


  It was then
        that pain
would enter the 
     world... 


suffering, 
     loss, 
        injustice... 


everything wrong 
    in the 
        world


is a result 
     of us 
  coming to know
        evil... 


Sin... 


   a separation from 
            God... 


a shift from what 
      God originally 
created
    as good, 
        perfect, 
           and beautiful...






     I've often wondered
why
   God decided to create
the world... 


   knowing that we would 
turn against him... 


  knowing the result of 
our disobedience... 


   knowing the pain he 
would feel 


   seeing us suffer... 


Did he create 
        us on a whim? 


   Did he know 
       exactly how 
he was going to 
   form the earth? 


Or 

   did he just 
       start creating? 


Like I do 
   with my 
       paintings...


  I suddenly 
     feel inspired to 
paint or be 
        creative, 

so I begin to 
   move paint
around a canvas,

   though I choose 
not to
  think about 
       the end 
product, 

   and just enjoy 
the act of 
     creating,

working with my 
         hands... 


 Sometimes I 
      don't like
the way the 
   painting "evolves"
or comes together, 


   so I cover 
it up & 
      begin again... 


God did 
     that
  when he sent the flood... 


after men's hearts 
       turned against
              him... 


and then 
   he created
       again, 


  sending a 
rainbow
   as a 
promise
   to never
   destroy the earth 
like that
        again...
 
Again, 
    man turned 
against him, 

   but instead 
of starting over
      again, 

He sent 
    His Son, 

God himself
    in human form... 

 Word 
     became 
         flesh... 

Author of creation, 
  
   entering creation 
 out of love 
    for his creation, 

to show the Way
       of holiness, 

 to show & pour 
out his love for us... 

   because we 
are his creation, 
   
  his craftmanship, 

his sons & daughters... 

   to begin the reversal 
of the curse... 

   which will be completed 
when he comes once 
      again... 
    

Learning about God's love...

       I learn so much

about God's love

    from loving my

best friend

   who does not

know God yet...

  

        I learn about

His patience

          &

              kindness...

I learn about

      His grace

               &

      mercy...

About His forgiveness

       &

         Compassion...

That His love 

     is

unfailing, 

   all-consuming,

all encompassing...

His love never 

ends.

You, God, are my God,
   earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
   my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
   where there is no water.

  I have seen you in the sanctuary
   and beheld your power and your glory.
  Because your love is better than life,
   my lips will glorify you.
  I will praise you as long as I live,
   and in your name I will lift up my hands.
  I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
   with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

   On my bed I remember you;
   I think of you through the watches of the night.
  Because you are my help,
   I sing in the shadow of your wings.
  I cling to you;
   your right hand upholds me. 

Psalm 63:1-8

A beautiful, lazy afternoon...

Sunlight 
    filtering in
through the window pane

     casting a 
golden haze
    throughout the 
             room... 

the cat napping 
       nearby, 

   NPR blaring 
from an old stereo system
        in the corner...

    the perfect day
to be lazy...

    the perfect day
for a nap... 

   yet another perfect 
day
    finding
        beauty
in simplicity. 

Serenity in the midst of chaos...

  It's late on a 

     Monday night

& I'm laying

    here stroking 

the one and only 

    cat in the world

that I'm not allergic to... 

  In the dark

       of night

on a back deck

    previously foreign

to me...

   My ears take 

      in 

         the sounds

   of the city...

train whistles

       echoing into the

night;

        the sound of 

cars on the highway

    close by...

dogs barking in 

       the distance;

   a door

         creaking

in the wind...

Across 

      tree & roof tops, 

I can see the city 

        lights

           glowing

in the distance... 

  Above, 

     clouds are passing

slowly over me,

          making way

for the stars high

    above

sparkling with brilliance 

      in the night...

   I see Orion

beaming bright

       &

          bold

as ever... 

     watching over 

         me

in the darkness... 

   the wind

wraps itself

       around my body

  giving me

          chills... 

as I stare into the

    night... 

Serenity

  

      in the midst 

  

              of chaos...

Chasing Waterfalls...

A journey, 

A quest                  

          to find

a waterfall... 

the sun was shining

bright, 

warming our skin

as we                  

cruised  down

              the highway, 

onward...             

mile after mile, 

   exit after exit, 

       city after city

we passed...     

minutes turned 

to hours

as we drove         

             further & further

   away

from work, responsibilities, 

& life...

towards open fields           

& 

                 gorgeous waterfalls...

Coldplay playing                

   quietly

                           in the background

as we               

talked and laughed...

talking about          

     everything

& nothing...        

on we went, 

       

  no map,      

            no address, 

nothing to guide us

but 

our instincts

&

road signs, 

few & far between...

we drove           

& 

        drove...

soaking in the 

   open fields

& old barns, 

cattle grazing 

along hillsides...

the signs

became more & more

spread apart     

           till finally 

the signs were

                no more...

             As we neared 

Chattanooga,

           we realized

we'd gone much too far...

      We finally turned 

            around,

me laughing,               

    him frustrated... 

Food in the 

         back seat

was waiting to be 

eaten...

intended for a 

picnic

beside the waterfall... 

I could sense             

            that my little car

 needed a break                   

after over 

         3 hours 

of driving, 

so 

we pulled off at 

some random 

exit,

one which I couldn't

         find again if 

I tried...

We realized there 

was nothing    

to be found there, 

& 

decided to               

      turn around...

I pulled off 

onto a 

dead end road

in order to turn

around, 

but decided to 

             see what was

down this road...

in the middle 

of nowhere...

       more fields

& 

old barns and fences...

a path

not often travelled...

We pulled off the 

road

 in front of a gate, 

beyond which 

was a muddy 

field.

Frustrated & tired, 

             I received an

earful about how 

      dumb this was 

& 

how terrible it

         was that we 

were           

     lost... 

then,

I looked up...

On the opposite 

side 

of the road

was 

a field, 

luscious & green, 

        where cows 

& 

their calves       

were         

        grazing...

    a magnificent 

      tree         

towered to the right

of the field...

the sun          

         beaming down 

behind it...     

"It is perfect,"              

I mumbled...

to which I received 

a blank stare

& 

the rolling of eyes... 

We got out of 

the car 

to 

look around...

I mentioned that 

we should 

have a picnic there...

so we got everything 

out...             

I sat on the 

trunk       

of my car, 

              as he leaned

against it...

munching on 

celery, carrots, 

red, green & yellow

peppers,

& crackers with cheese,

he said, 

               "this is kinda 

perfect..."

he finally caught 

      a glimpse

of the beauty          

        of the moment...

and was able to 

enjoy it... 

so there we 

       stayed,

munching 

& talking;

sitting 

& reflecting;

               letting the sun 

warm our skin

& 

             listening to the 

symphony of birds

singing

   &

                      cows grazing...

     

       the perfect day...

completely lost;

       completely out

of control of the 

situation; 

yet

completely perfect. 

So let's chase 

              waterfalls

& 

find unexpected

beauty 

in unexpected 

places

&

enjoy the moment

& see

the beauty 

& 

perfection 

in those moments.